awake at 1:30 am

Half past one,

Somewhere in between night and dawn and morning

Breeze is slipping through the window

But also infrequent rattle of cars down the road

Where are they going?

Who are they heading to, one thirty past midnight, to meet?

I imagine the mr or mrs driver, driving

Staring down the empty road

Excelling, excelling, only rarely pressing the brake

Teeth chewing on gum, lost taste dissolving through their throats

Either rap or 90’s ballad song booming across the suffocating silence

Redeeming its proud presence as the only life awake

My pillow pushes my head up to ask them

What makes you awake now?

What makes you want to, or have to, drive through an empty city?

Who are you thinking about now?

If they cannot answer the question with a name

Or is feeling lonely at all

I hope at the tips of their eyes they see

Light smearing through a little window on a second floor

And feel less so

Realize they are not the only one with a mind, unasleepable

Wide awake as the scent of chilly moonlight blowing through the nose

Lost time, lost sleep, lost chances to dream

Then one question pushes me from the edge of the bed

Why am I awake?

What makes me want to, have to, switch on a small yellow light in an empty neighborhood?

Switching night and day, what for?

Looping owl hoots and snores across the hallway

Trading sleep for useless page turnings

Planning a tomorrow that won’t come

Staring at the ceiling and counting holes, not stars

What for?

When I slip out of warmth

It becomes clear, that it’s less of a trip of time or wrench of routine

It’s more so a meditation

Leave a stranger mind to act like a stranger

Free from all shackles of the day

Be the awake person 1, or 2, maybe 3

Strayer straying through an empty neighborhood and empty streets, at night

Have nowhere to go

Thus to go anywhere

To be the rustle around the corner

A part of the smaller sounds, of time flowing

A quiet breath that whisphers words and hums

Be a part of the awake, among the whole city asleep

See not the sun

But the moon

Refuse to dream

Instead keep living